5 Reasons Why Your Kids Shouldn't Read

Sometimes, it feels like you’re banging your head against a wall trying to get those kids of yours to read. Do you want my advice? Don’t bother. Here are my top 5 reasons why your kids should stay away from books.

  1. The more kids read, the more they know.Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader
  2. Seriously, who wants kids to know stuff? Just think about all the conversations you’ll be forced to have about topics you may know nothing about. It’s enough they learn all this stuff in school, and then bug us with homework we can’t remember how to do anymore. Are YOU smarter than a fifth grader? I know I’m not, and I certainly don’t need my kids trying to outsmart me with all the things they’ll learn from reading.

  3. When kids read, they can lose themselves in imaginary worlds
  4. Narnia? Hogwarts? Camp Half-Blood? Seriously, those places do not exist, and pretending they do is just plain silly. Will knowing where to place them on an imaginary map help my kid with his geography grade? Will reading about how to train a dragon get my boys to walk their dog more often? I think not. Why let them dream about far-away, fairytale lands when real life is always so wonderful?

  5. Kids who read, succeed
  6. Research has shown that the more you read, the smarter you become, and that reading directly affects a child’s intellectual development. Who wants successful children? You know what that means, don’t you: a successful child is one that will eventually leave home. Now, I know you love your children. Love them more than life itself, right? So why would you want them to ever leave home and become successful individuals in their own right? Don’t you just cherish the idea of doing their laundry, cooking for them, paying their bills FOREVER? If you love your kids as much as I do, you won’t be ashamed to admit it. So KEEP YOUR KIDS AWAY FROM BOOKS.

  7. Reading increases a child’s vocabulary and grammar, and has the potential to improve writing skills
  8. Do you keep a little folder with all those sweet notes your child has written over the years, with all those misspelled words and the funny grammar? Aren’t they just the cutest? It warms my heart reading how much my boys ‘luv’ me, and what ‘prezints’ they want Santa to bring them on ‘Krismas’. Seriously, if they carry on reading, their writing skills are going to improve, and what will happen to my little folder then, I ask you!?! And anyway, all those spell-check tools in today’s word processor and texting applications fix everything anyway, right? And we know they never get anything wrong, right?AutoCorrect Fail

  9. Reading improves a child’s probability of staying in school.
  10. Why would I want my child to stay in school? Check out this list of highly successful high-school dropouts. Why should I spend my hard-earned money on schools, books, supplies and all those extra-curricular activities for my kids when chances are,  if they simply drop out, they will become millionaires. I mean, seriously, it’s a no-brainer, right?

I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. So please stop the head banging, and turn on that TV. It must be about time for somebody to get voted off an island or something….

Happy Reading! ( you know I had to end with that, I couldn’t help myself…)

About the Author:

Reading Rewards
Reading Rewards is a comprehensive & interactive reading log & reading incentive program that is used worldwide by hundreds of thousands of children, parents, teachers and librarians.

7 Comments

  1. Rafael Santiago March 29, 2013 at 9:40 am - Reply

    This is a stupid article! Reading is good for kids. Sure, there are plenty of successful high school dropouts but I guaruntee that there are way more kids who stuck around and became way more successful. You don’t give kids enough credit for what they can do. They are not idiots and they know that fantasy world are imaginary but it amuses the to imagine themselves in those stories. It teaches them life skills and if we don’t let our children read for any of the reasons listed above, the next generation is going to be a bunch up dumb, sad kids.

    • Michelle Skamene March 29, 2013 at 9:54 am - Reply

      Rafael, actually, the entire article was meant to be a joke, to highlight reasons why kids actually SHOULD read (The more kids read, the more they know, When kids read, they can lose themselves in imaginary worlds,Kids who read, succeed, etc). Our website is all about encouraging kids to read, and really, the article was meant very much tongue-in-cheek. Thank you for reading, and thanks for your comment! I hope you will re-read it with new understanding?

      • Rick Edmonds September 18, 2015 at 1:48 pm - Reply

        An article that is pure sarcasm? I love it!

  2. Auzie September 21, 2015 at 8:39 pm - Reply

    I don’t know if the article was really a joke or not, but I really love it if it is not a joke.

    There is reading and there is reading. Depends what is there for reading. Most of the books out there for teens and even for kids are romance. It impacts their emotions, it trains their soul and perspective. I have seen girls and boys who fall in love in school at the age of 14 or 15 and drop out actually. Why because they are totally in a different, imaginary, non real world, so manipulated by these readings called books…!

  3. emma March 6, 2017 at 10:20 am - Reply

    reading is good you want the best for your child don’t you? and if you don’t want them to dream in imaginary stuff then they can read history and biography books

  4. jax everland April 3, 2017 at 5:59 pm - Reply

    i understand this is a joke but, i know children are going to find it and take it seriously and thats when trouble will start to happen.

  5. Coraline Grace May 30, 2017 at 7:30 pm - Reply

    Introducing children to chapter books at an early age can nurture a love of reading and help children on the road to becoming avid readers. Books take us to places we can only dream about, improves literacy & social skills, and helps you feel more connected.

    Continue to read to your children as they grow. Bedtime read-alouds will become something your children look forward to, a memorable part of their childhood. Take advantage of the precious time you have with your children, enjoy good books, start great discussions and let their imaginations soar.

    Happy Reading!

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