Guest post by Alissa Sklar. Alissa Sklar is the mother of 3 daughters, a freelance writer for Montreal Families Magazine and other publications, and an Assistant Professor of Communication Studies at Concordia University in Montreal, Quebec.
My three daughters are voracious readers.
Now that might be a strange way to start a blog on a site linked to encouraging reluctant readers, but stick with me here. My older girls, twins in grade 5, are so immersed in their novels (fantasy adventures and historical fiction are their favorites) that they began reading through every recess period at school, neglecting their friends and not getting the opportunity to blow off steam through physical exercise. The school guidance counselor actually took the exceptional step (with my permission) of actually banning their books at recess. The school was essentially, remarkably, telling them they read TOO MUCH! (Well, at least at the wrong times)! Kind of a new take on book banning, I guess, and in this case, the only kind of book banning I’d ever support.
Except for the kind where they read books walking down stairs. Also a very bad idea (but that’s another blog post.)
My point (and I do have one) is this: when news of their unusual restriction got out, I got some calls from concerned parents of their classmates. What I had done to promote this wonderful love of reading? What had I done right? And by extension, what had they done wrong?
The only answer I could come up with wasn’t particularly helpful to them. Truth is, I didn’t think there was anything these parents neglected or forgot to do. What’s more, I’m not convinced I did anything particularly different or special. We all sang to our children as infants, introduced them to those particularly tasty board books as babies, read to them at bedtime, took them to libraries, let them see us reading for pleasure. Many of these parents were highly educated professionals, well aware of the importance of reading to their child’s school success. Some were devoted lifelong readers, sorely disappointed that their child doesn’t share the desire to totally immerse themselves in a new world or explore possibilities of learning in non-fiction.
Would their child never experience the wonder of the wardrobe that leads to Narnia? Travel in a magic treehouse with Jack and Annie? Fly on a broomstick with Harry Potter? Get that shiver down their back with the dawning horror that comes at the end of The Lottery? Many look back with fond memories on their childhood hours spent totally immersed in a wealth of fantastic fiction, whether under the covers with a flashlight after lights out or giggling with friends over the “good parts” in Forever (thanks again for that, Judy Blume!). They express sadness that their kids might never know this sweet escape. Even more, they worried that their kids might not properly learn the literacy skills essential to school success.
The literature on literacy is filled with suggestions, strategies and tools for these parents, but they all kind of boil down to this: you need to find a way to motivate your kids to pick the books up and get through them. You need to work with them to choose the best children’s books for them, encourage them, and sometimes, reward them. Because they need these literacy skills to make it in our school systems. And along the way, you kind of hope there might be some magical connection to Charles Wallace, Junie B. Jones or Gregor the Overlander, and the rest will take care of itself.
What are some of the remarkable books you remember from your childhood? Which would you most like your child to discover?
That guidance counselor is ridiculous. Love your blog post. When I was little, I couldn’t get enough Judy Blume or Paula Danziger, and yes, sometimes I read them under a shady tree at recess. : )
Judy Blume! Couldn’t get enough of her either, and yes, the ‘good parts’ in Deenie… My parents figured I was reading Judy Blume (of the ‘Are you there God, it’s me Margaret’ sort, or ‘Otherwise known as Sheila the Great’). I kept waiting to get ‘found out’!! :-) I suppose the guidance counselor here was concerned about the girls becoming ‘social outcasts’ of sorts, although I agree that book banning was maybe taking it too far… Everything in moderation, right? By the way, found my old copy of Deenie the other day, and had to giggle at the naughty parts….
Instead of banning reading at recess, how about asking them to march in place while reading (or some other simple physical activity that can be done while reading without being dangerous)? Maybe there could be book giveaway incentives for kids who complete X amount of physical activity. As for interacting with peers, the school could allow a student book club for those little voracious readers. I think there are more creative ways to approach the issue. As a mom, and a kid who was set apart from other children for a lot of different reasons, I don’t like the idea of cutting kids off from books for any reason. Rather, the books should be used as a gateway to interacting with peers, getting that activity, in or whatever other good habit you’re trying to inspire.
In response to comments, I should explain the reasoning behind this decision by the school. Although my girls have plenty of friends and are very fit, the guidance counsellor felt quite strongly that recess was a time for physical activity and socializing, and that they’d keep their energy up for an 8-hour day in the classroom if they weren’t burying themselves in more books. Perhaps a misplaced concern in this case, but the reasoning was motivated by kindness and concern. In any case, I’m happy to report that this ban hasn’t in any way tempered their enthusiasm for reading at other times!
I found this blog today after banning my own daughter from reading at home. My 10 year old is another voracious reader. I was one myself so I never imagined myself doing what I did. But when I found her reading completely naked half an hour later she had shower, I had to do something about it. We live in southern hemisphere so it is middle of the winter right now and she didn’t even turn on a heater in her room or covering herself with a towel. We have set some rules and limitations about reading such as no reading at the table, when she has friends over. etc. I just hope she learns quickly to get things done before reading so that I can lift the ban….
My son, age 9 grade 4, reads too much. He will read constantly and ignore all the people around him. He has an exceptionally high IQ and does not prefer the company of other children or adults much either. I take his book away as punishment if he doesn’t get things done. He is a straight A student, but I do wish he would socialize.
I live in a Balkan country. I started reading both Latin- and Cyrillic-written books and newspapers when I was 5, and I went to the elementary school when I was 6. The teachers noticed me reading a book (secretly) even when they were teaching letters – and writing them on the blackboard – to the other pupils. They warned my parents that one of the main objective of going to school was to ‘learn how to learn’ and that I would fail to learn that skill – because I already knew whatever they were teaching us (geography, history, etc.). The teachers told my parents I might experience a lot of troubles when I would be going to the secondary school and the university. And that was true – while I was able to improvise my answers to many questions having been put by my teachers in the sec. school, of course I failed miserably trying to use the technique at the university. I took me almost 10 years to graduate! But I was a very, very good mechanical engineer, very successful in my career – probably because, for the next 35 years, I continued to read so many professional textbooks, instruction books, magazines,… and to apply the accumulated knowledge to my every-day duties!
I was a massive reader when I was young. And I did go through a phase when I was 10-13 where I would read pretty much all the time and it would get in the way of me socialising. But I found socialising hard, and was very uncomfortable in myself. So reading was an escape. There was no corrective action – it just passed when I got a bit older and happier.
The only suggestion I would make for parents who are worried that their kids are reading so much it damages their social skills, is to ask them about the book. Because I would read everywhere, people would always ask me about the book. And I’d explain the plot, whether I liked it or not, and they would talk about similar books they had read, or what they were reading at the moment, or that they’d visited the country in my book – it can be a great conversation starter. I would often get into conversations with people I didn’t know (and come away with really good recommendations).
That’s a great suggestion, Emily. Thanks for sharing!
Emily I think that’s an awesome suggestion!
I read… a lot. I am a teen, and my parents have told me to go outside to at least get out of the house. I took my book with me. So, ya, now I’m banned. I follow my mom’s rules, because too much reading is bad for your head. It hurts! My point is: Just don’t do it. Read a certain amount of time, then go do something else. It will help you process what you just read. <3
I agree that it is possible for kids to read too much, and that there are times when kids should not be reading. I just posted about this on my blog. I gave one essential question parents have to ask themselves, and some of the reasons you might want your kid to slow down on the reading, and some easy tips to help them do that. Here’s the post: http://www.evereadbooks.com/2016/02/my-kid-reads-too-much-one-important.html
Emily, thank you for your reflection on this scenario later in life. In researching this online I am noticing a trend of parents saying their “10 year old” won’t stop reading. Maybe this is a developmental “problem”. My child is nine and reads constantly, and I am concerned that she is not socializing enough. Sometimes when we are in the thick of a phase we don’t see beyond it. As a fifth grade teacher I forgot to think about that fact that a whole new world is opening up for kids at this age. They are stepping into an entirely new realm of understanding and lightbulbs are going off constantly in my students and in my classroom. I need to remember that my daughter is engaged and super motivated to read maybe because she is finally really enjoying the art of literature and just can’t get enough of the worlds that are opening up for her. I hope that one day, soon though, she finds a balance of reading and socializing:)
My child is failing in school because he reads constantly. What can I do? Should I continue to let him fail because he’d rather read his fantasy books rather than learn algebra?
@kate – Pls. read my comment of Dec. 9, 2014.! I repeat this part only: ‘The teachers told my parents I might experience a lot of troubles when I would be going to the secondary school and the university. And that was true…’ My advice: try your best to avoid it! My father tried to put strict restrictions on how many hours a day I might spent reading. …And I was reading also ‘serious’ newspapers and magazines, that helped me thru my basic and secondary schools, not just those fantasy books!